Sitting in silence looking up at my lyrics and notes thinking I'm so close, yet feeling so far away.
I was up till 5:30am this morning filled with anxiety that my voice wouldn't hold up for the final song. I’ve started losing my voice thankfully towards the end of sessions, since about 4 songs in. My glands swell and I’m completely physically exhausted. Because of what I’m aiming to achieve, I’m not surprised. As a general rule because we don’t have time to commit, I have recorded from around 8am to 1pm, rested, then back on again from 8pm to 2am daily. Tracking, listening, correcting, repeating.
My daily life has been dumbed down to basics, wake, eat, warm up, record, rest, sleep and repeat, wherever time allows. SLEEP is absolute key in healing I believe. Very hard for an insomniac with an over active mind, it’s intense but I know what I want so I know the rules. GET REST!
After last night I thought I may have pushed things over the edge. I lost total control of my voice. When this happens, it's soul destroying for me. As dramatic as this sounds, all I've ever lived for is this moment to be able to finally prove to myself, that I have the chops to record an album vocally raw from scratch from start to finish and to do this in such a way that when effects go on, I know the ground work underneath has been laid out perfectly.
So listen up all you YouTube channels who get a kick out of exposing vocalists in their raw form and manipulating them to sound even worse… yeah you know who you are... Fuck you, go right ahead, make my day! haha
I have been warming up