When I look at my life at present, I am so thankful! I have a roof over my head, warmth, love and kindness, I am at peace and I feel safer within myself than I ever have.
When people want to know about my life story at times, it feels like I'm opening up the most rotten can of worms ever. It's filled with so much hurt, I see people's minds go into shock as they try to quantify all of that information happening to just one person. When I am in a dark place, there is no stopping me from how I feel. What I have learned so far, is that some days are better than others. "A bad day" could be as long as 8 - 12 months with the occasional happy hour or two, no jokes. If you are hurting today, could you try one thing for me?
Do the opposite of how you feel! When I'm in a bad place. I hide under cover, I remove myself from those who love me the most. It's ok to be that way, but I now only allow myself a certain period of time to be that way these days. I have taught myself to put on an alarm as soon as that "familiar feeling" comes back. I have a list of things that make me feel happy. I pick one and ensure I do it as soon as that alarm goes off whether I want to or not. It doesn't always make me feel 100% but it does start me down the right path again.