Hey all you wonderful people, some have been asking for sneaky peaks so I thought I would pop a few up where I can. The first is War Within, I can't speak for all artists but I find it really hard as a lyricist, to stay afloat and I guess "in the light" sometimes when I'm writing. I have this desire to share a piece of my learned lessons in life which in turn feels like a type of healing process for me. I hope that if others can relate those feelings to their own lives, they feel like they are not alone. I like to think I'm not alone.
I thought I'd share a snippet of the guys initially tracking War Within at the studio. From the moment this song composure came together from the guys, I knew it was drawing my core to a moment of absolute honesty. Some of my friends/readers know I am a survivor of abuse. If you didn't, welcome to a very quick introduction to me. My name is Charlie, I'm a female vocalist for a NZ Rock band. To this day creatively, music is my playground. It's my way of growing.
Some of my life details are very much part of the reason this song has been written, but I do not let it define me today. Although I try to limit the core reminders, it is something I work on daily. I live with injuries that will never heal and I have been diagnosed with a disorder I believe I have worked hard to keep balanced. I now feel safe in my surroundings. What comes with SPTSD for me at times though is anxiety, sensory issues and depression. I take each day as it comes because social anxiety and meltdowns can be crippling and exhausting. Yeah IKR?... Me... oh wait... so that's why the scars on her face... ooooh. This is a small snippet of War Within. Sorry that this video is dark. We record how we feel most comfortable as a team and we like the room dimly lit.
One of my remedies: I have learned that by having my ears submerged under water so that all I hear is nothing but the oddities of water movement, takes my head out of what ever I seem to be focused on. I can do this many times when in this place and for long periods of time. It is part of the inspiration for this song. It's a gentle reminder that I can just be in that place and I can get through it. Mindfulness, I guess some might call it. Living in the "here and now" is ultimately the aim, even when feeling out of sync with life.
This song is a reminder for me as to what happens when I need to change my thought process. I'm glad I recognise when something is not right these days. All I hope is that if anyone who hears this song can relate, that it is used in the same way to help pick you up, and push past the walls of your own mind.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blogs, it's not all "sunshine daisy butter mellow" but I take the good with the bad.
C xx